


the sky is freer than the ceiling

by leisvrely



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Summer Vacation, Thinking Out Loud, Thinking too much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:26:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21972805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leisvrely/pseuds/leisvrely
Summary: He reached a hand upwards, following the movement of his fingers with the arrant realization that he was alive.
Kudos: 10





	the sky is freer than the ceiling

Tobio had always wished he could walk on the ceiling as a kid. Even now as he hung upside down on his bed, occasionally blowing his bangs up and out of the way, he wished that life could be upside down. Not for everyone, but he wanted to just sit on the ceiling by himself in the quiet. He reached a hand upwards, following the movement of his fingers with the arrant realization that he was alive. 

He could also feel the blood pooling behind his eyes, however, deciding to sit up before he got a headache. 

It was eight a.m. 

Summer vacation was always very hot and devoid of feeling. It wasn’t rare that Tobio would see movies about summer love and summer adventures and feel so completely disconnected. Never once had there been a moment where he’d thought,  _ my life is a movie. This is me, this is us, this is the world and I am entirely whole in it.  _

July third. School had let out two weeks ago and there was nothing to be accomplished. There was no bucket list, no plans, Tobio hadn’t even texted anyone. His dad went to work at five-thirty and came back in the evening. His mom left at nine and came back late at night. For two weeks, Tobio would do nothing for close to twelve hours. He’d set a volleyball in his room over and over again, repeating the same fluid movement in his fingers. He’d set until his arms ached and begged to be put down and he’d lay down on the bed and think. 

His mother thought he might be depressed. 

“You need to get out of the house. I’m worried that you’re depressed,” she said rather bluntly as she gathered her purse. 

He looked up from the glass of milk he was pouring. “I’m not depressed.” 

It wasn’t a lie. Tobio full-heartedly disagreed. He was just a bit empty.

“Call up one of your school friends and go hang out. What about that Hinata? He’s your friend, right?” 

_ I guess. _ “I guess.” 

Before leaving through the front door, she looked up with genuine concern for her son. There wasn’t a particular emotion sticking out on his face. “Just try to have fun. Do something different. I’ll see you tonight.” 

After hearing the door slide shut, Tobio sighed and pulled out his phone. Taking a sip, he scrolled through his seven contacts: **Dad Cell, Dad Work, Hinata, Mom Cell, Mom Work, Oikawa, Sugawara**.  Something stirred in his stomach. He clicked Hinata’s profile and the call button, holding it up to his ear with eyes closed. It rang a few times and went to voicemail. Swallowing hard, he turned his phone off and set it down. 

It was just after nine o’clock.

At ten-thirty a.m., the phone rang. Glancing at the name flashing across the screen, Tobio paused the video he was watching and picked up hesitantly. 

“Hello?” 

“ _ Hey! You called earlier. I’m suspicious, you fall off the face of the earth and then call? What do you want? _ ” Hinata was overly cheery and loud for the serene silence that filled his house. 

Hearing the voice on the other end of the phone made him realize he didn’t have a plan. “Oh. My mom thinks I should hang out with you.” 

There was a pause.  _ “Uwahhh! You’re so brutally honest, Yamayama. Gimme a good reason to say yes when you’re basically at gunpoint. _ ” 

“I’ll set to you?” 

“ _ You’ve sold me. Meet me at the park as soon as you can, okay? _ ” 

The line went dead. 

Interrupted serene silence turned into a deafening quiet. Tobio had been lonely after all. 

It was a fifteen-minute walk to the park. Left hand in his shorts pocket, right hand holding the volleyball supported under his arm, he walked at a generally slow pace. A pace at a good enough mark to let his mind simmer for a moment. 

In the back of his mind, he’d always assumed someone else would call him first. Someone would want to have him as company and just be. I guess it isn’t like that after all. It stung. The thought that he was alone in his own company stung.  _ It’s fine. No one gets me anyways.  _

At ten-forty-seven, Tobio arrived at the park. 

Hinata was already there, sitting on a swing all tan with a popsicle hanging out of the side of his closed mouth, scrolling on his phone. Kids were playing and yelling on the playground equipment, yet he still seemed to hear exactly when Tobio walked through the gate. 

With a big wave, he shoved his phone in his short’s pockets and provided another rocket pop with his other hand. The two met halfway, Hinata looking Tobio up and down with a tilt of the head. 

“I didn’t take you as the guy who’d wear muscle tees.” 

“Shut up, dumbass, do you want to practice or not?” 

Without really responding, he thrusted the rocket pop forward, giving an obvious take it kind of look. Tobio glanced down, the rocket pop begging to be taken, so he snatched it. 

“Thanks.” 

“We can take a moment to relax before practicing.” 

Turning around, Hinata started walking away to a picnic table. Rather than choose to look like a confused idiot, Tobio followed, popsicle in mouth and volleyball underarm. 

He watched as his sort-of friend sprawled across the top of the picnic table, back resting on it as he stared up into a blue sky filled with such taunting possibilities. Tobio wasn’t sure if he should do the same, setting down the ball onto the seat and awkwardly standing next to him instead. 

“Hey, Kageyama,” Hinata spoke up, taking the popsicle out of his mouth. Blue dripped down onto his shirt, “when was the last time you played?” 

“Volleyball?” 

“No, like outside. Like the little guys on the playground.” 

He thought about it. “I dunno, probably early middle school. Why?” 

“I keep thinking about how we went from the good life to the in-between so fast, and you don’t even notice. I can’t even remember why I ended up no longer playing.” 

The thought was a bit more introspective than he’d admittedly figure for Hinata. “I mean, there’s just a point where you get too old.” He shrugged at the thought. It seemed a little obvious. 

“Yeah, but don’t you think we let go of that childhood so fast nowadays?” 

“I guess, yeah.” Tobio had become one to guess a lot more nowadays. 

Deciding to go for it, he laid back on the top of the table similar to Hinata. The sky was so incredulously blue and vacant of clouds. The ceiling usually grounded him, giving that feeling of completion in solitude. The sky made him feel overwhelmingly free. Without the restraint of his four walls, what was there to hold onto? What if he went in too deep? Who would pull him back out? 

“Sometimes I just wish I could walk on the ceiling,” Hinata said softly after a few minutes. It was hardly above a whisper, a thought flowing straight from his mind. Not just for Tobio to hear, but for the world to have the idea crawl into that freeing blue sky. Dispersed among the atmosphere; a secret that belonged to no one, not even Hinata. 

For the first time in two weeks, Tobio didn’t feel alone. 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry that hinata is kinda off sounding, this is me writing for haikyuu maybe like a solid year or two after i last did, so im getting back into the swing of things.  
> thanks for reading^^


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